Ded Bob has been dragged kicking and screaming (mostly screaming) into the technology age, and has set up email addresses for each of his individual dummies just so you, the Ded Bob Zombies, can email the precise dummy you saw at your faire (check the Schedule Page for who's performing where). So have at 'em.
| Email smuj at: Email sluj at: Email puj at: Email nuj at: |
smuj@dedbob.com sluj@dedbob.com puj@dedbob.com nuj@dedbob.com |
...and of course, you can always email Ded Bob at: db@dedbob.com
It's the event of a decade.
After years of pressure, he's finally caved...
Now Available!
dedbobsho (cover art not exactly as shown) You can buy it on the Get Bob Stuf Paj
dvd's
get 'em cheap
while they last
only $15 (plus shipping)
I've f***ing had it with smuj.
He's lazy, stupid, gag-ugly, and he smells like the business end of a wombat.
So, I'm phasing him out for three [so far] younger dummies in the hopes that, I can mold them into suitable tools.
I don't really see the need in introducing them individually, but in order to avoid the inevitable, inane questions later on, I'll briefly describe them:
The skinny blond one whose voice hasn't changed yet is called sluj.
We called him that so it would rhyme with a word in one of my songs.
[It was easier than writing new material...which is frowned upon as it would show weakness.]
Despite his vapid personality, sluj seems to have some inexplicable power over women. He's no me, but formidable just the same........ he's as gorgeous as smuj is hideous. So, sluj must remain hidden from view to protect every female who spots him from shamelessly offering themselves for despoilment.
[smuj is hidden to keep people from puking]
The big thick one [literally and figuratively] is puj.
This guy's perfect dummy material. Dumb as a post and docile, as long as his hood is on. I'll say this once..... DON'T LIFT HIS HOOD. If you must lift something, lift his codpiece.... he's hung like Rasputin.
Finally, a former mudman has begun moonlighting as one of my dummies.
[His mud name is "Halfwit Henry"]
nuj is the smartest dummy I've ever used...a dangerous precedent.
A great leap from the gerbil-brained, numb-skulls I usually employ, "nuj" has an I.Q. of 53.
He's a test case. I have to be careful though. I'd hate to have to put him down if'n he gets too uppity.
To any who would cry foul... I would say simply this:
Yes!
FOUL INDEED is the used-up, slothful smuj - he's almost history.
LONG LIVE
sluj
THE HUNK-DUMMY
&
puj
THE SLEEPING TIGER
&
nuj
THE BRAINIAC-DUMMY
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